Countdown to Staging

September 16th is getting closer and closer and as that date nears I have been thinking a lot more about my decision. It freaks me out that I am moving out of the country. I have traveled out of the country many times, but never moved. When I was going on vacation I always knew I would be back shortly and although eventually I will come back, I know it will be a long time. Everything that I consider "normal" is about to disappear and that is weird to me.

Part of me wants to stay to be a part of my friends and families life. I have a new cousin, my grandparents are aging, my friends are getting new jobs and graduating and I am going to be missing out on a lot of things. But I have to remind myself that this is my life and I have the right to make my own decisions. No one gets to live their life for me or tell me where they want me to go. It's my choice and my life and the Peace Corps is what I want. I am ready to go, but I can't help to think about all the things I am leaving behind. This departure is coming at a perfect time too. I have graduated college and I have no one and nothing holding me back. I am ready to take things as they come.

I have been talking with a lot of my fellow Peace Corps friends and they assure me that they are having the same thoughts. We are scared about everything, but wish we were leaving sooner. We are nervous about what to pack, where we will be, the language, our host families and etc. It's such a weird emotional time that I am ready for it to be over with and on my way.

I anticipate to have my best and worst days in Peru and I know there will be days I am ready to pack my bags and come home and there will also be days that I never want to leave. Around the date that I leave it will have been one year since I turned my application in and I am ready for this journey to start. I can't wait for all my new experiences to start. I am walking into this with an open mind and heart.

For those that I am leaving behind, sorry this is what I want. I hope to see you when I get back and I wish you the best. I am not just doing this for me though, I am doing this in hopes to make a teeny tiny difference in someone's life.

What do I plan to do when I get back? As of now I am searching for grad schools alllll over the USA. I am eyeing a few schools in NYC, one in D.C. and one in Michigan. Not sure where I will end up, but a Master's degree is in store. Then I have no idea what comes after that. I have plenty of time to think about it. I will also probably be dealing with this too: http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/08/24/cultural.reentry/index.html

Yay! Sorry if any of this sounded depressing. I just have been thinking a lot lately as departure is sooner about how crazy all this is. For a conclusion though: Yes I am ready go. I couldn't be happier with this decision and I can't wait!!! :)